Pledge to America

As you watch seven of my buddies get together this evening to slug it out at the first Republican Presidential debate in Manchester, New Hampshire, just remember our Pledge to America during the 2010 mid-term elections. It’s still dear to us today.

Moocher

A PLEDGE TO AMERICA

We as Republicans offer the following:

A PLAN TO CREATE JOBS, END ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY & MAKE AMERICA MORE COMPETITIVE

I know if there was ever a paradox this is it but some people fall for it. Actually foreign operations of American corporations are very competitive thanks to cheap labor.

A PLAN TO STOP OUT OF CONTROL SPENDING & REDUCE THE SIZE OF GOVERNMENT

This part is always fun and we can get rid environmental and worker’s protections at the same time. We prefer to say control spending because spending cuts need to offset our tax cuts.

A PLAN TO REPEAL & REPLACE THE GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER OF HEALTH CARE

My shares are doing quite nicely, thank you. Don’t forget to pay your premium.

A PLAN TO REFORM CONGRESS & RESTORE TRUST

We’re regaining Wall Street’s trust every day.

A PLAN TO KEEP OUR NATION SECURE AT HOME & ABROAD

Geez.. Do I have to give the Administration credit for some of those al-Qaeda guys?

We will uphold our principles and fight for America’s priorities

We did say “our” principles. And no, access to education, healthcare, clean air, good roads, retirement, food, housing, etc. weren’t advertently left off. Notice we also like to use the word “job-killing” in our Pledge to America. How many times can you say “job-killing”, kids? We do our best to make sure there aren’t any to kill. Outsourcing anyone?

See you tonight!New Hampshire GOP Presidentail Debate 06-13-11

The candidates participating in the debate, from left: Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Ron Paul

Credit: CBS/Getty Images

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