As you watch seven of my buddies get together this evening to slug it out at the first Republican Presidential debate in Manchester, New Hampshire, just remember our Pledge to America during the 2010 mid-term elections. It’s still dear to us today.
A PLEDGE TO AMERICA
We as Republicans offer the following:
A PLAN TO CREATE JOBS, END ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY & MAKE AMERICA MORE COMPETITIVE
I know if there was ever a paradox this is it but some people fall for it. Actually foreign operations of American corporations are very competitive thanks to cheap labor.
A PLAN TO STOP OUT OF CONTROL SPENDING & REDUCE THE SIZE OF GOVERNMENT
This part is always fun and we can get rid environmental and worker’s protections at the same time. We prefer to say control spending because spending cuts need to offset our tax cuts.
A PLAN TO REPEAL & REPLACE THE GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER OF HEALTH CARE
My shares are doing quite nicely, thank you. Don’t forget to pay your premium.
A PLAN TO REFORM CONGRESS & RESTORE TRUST
We’re regaining Wall Street’s trust every day.
A PLAN TO KEEP OUR NATION SECURE AT HOME & ABROAD
Geez.. Do I have to give the Administration credit for some of those al-Qaeda guys?
We will uphold our principles and fight for America’s priorities
We did say “our” principles. And no, access to education, healthcare, clean air, good roads, retirement, food, housing, etc. weren’t advertently left off. Notice we also like to use the word “job-killing” in our Pledge to America. How many times can you say “job-killing”, kids? We do our best to make sure there aren’t any to kill. Outsourcing anyone?